So, I made my last post…yay…
Then my husbands grandfather got sicker…and sicker…and sicker…
He recently passed away, and since, I have been mourning. Mourning what was, what was going to be, and what could have been. Mourning for my son, who thinks his Papa is going to come back, no matter what we or his therapist says. Mourning for my mother-in-love, who now only has her children to console her. Mourning for my husband, who has been busting his butt trying to provide for his hurting family. He hasn’t even been able to properly mourn or cry.
So yes, this post will be for him.
I didn’t get much of a chance to actually GET to know Papa. I only knew what I saw of him for the 9 months we lived together. When I first moved to be with my hubby bubby, Grandfather was already in the hospital from having strokes, they were trying to get him better to come home.
After being homeless again, and again, we finally weren’t in October of 2016. We happily moved into a ground floor apartment and I stood to be Grandfathers caretaker. Was it easy? The answer is of course not. However, caretaking runs in my blood. My mother does it, my grandmother works in a hospital. It’s just something that doesn’t bother us.
This man, though, made it so that I lived to make him happy, and that’s how I liked it. I’ve never grown so close to someone so fast before. We would sit and watch M*A*S*H, Criminal Minds, or whatever else he liked, and I would constantly keep his coffee cup filled. I never met a man like him, who liked BLACK coffee. Always.
My heart hurts, even if I know he’s in a better place. The first day, my son tried to shake him awake. Luckily I was able to close the door and he went camping for a week. Though, now, he’s just expecting Grandfather to walk through the door. I think he knows it wont happen, but he can always keep his hopes up.
Now it’s time for this Momma to worry. Worry about rent, worry about my family. I am trying to get a job, it’s not easy with my child and my mother in love, who is disabled. I know I will get one that works though.
I’m lucky enough to have a friend who is interest in raising money for us so, if I promise to write about something important each day, can you promise to share my link?
Write tomorrow then,