Missing

I know this looks bad. Don’t let it, I am not missing. Just the title of the post.

This time of the year, I feel like a huge piece of me is missing, which is all back from where I moved. When I moved to be with Big Chewy, it was a spur of the moment. I had two weeks to pack up my stuff, my sons stuff, grab my 2-year-old, and leave. The thing is I left and plan to never look back, as hard as that might be. Not that I am against my family, but I could never willingly move back when I know my son and I are possibly not safe, not to mention the huge drug epidemic home now has.

I miss a lot of people, because we had a lot of traditions. We used to have the peppermint pig, we use to do finding the pickle, too. That one was always fun. My plans this year is to at least incorporate the peppermint pig. Who doesn’t want to smash a yummy pig into little bits? It was always the highlight of our Christmas.

Actually, there was also the 7 fishes. That dates waaay back to when to Roman Catholics didn’t eat meat near Christmas time, so they had the Feast of Seven Fishes. I can say we definitely don’t do that, we just happen to be one of those Italian families that have incorporated it into our life. I remember one year my grandmother didn’t want to cook (though the running joke is she really can’t, but she can if she tries) she decided instead of another fish, since they brought 3, they also brought Swedish Fish. For us, that was good enough and counted as such.

I just wish I could go home for a holiday. I don’t get to see my brother, my mom or dad, or my grandparents, or my uncle with whom I grew up with, and now he’s raising his own look-a-like. The holidays were always big, and sometimes here I feel out of place, and it hurts. No one here seems to (want) to understand, since Baby Chewy was too little, Big Chewy has his mom who lives with us, and they have his aunt and all her kids.

I wish it was safe for us to go, but its not. That’s the thing I really wish, but I don’t know when It will happen. It sucks when I have grown up there, have friends there, have livelihood there. Here, I had to change my entire personality to be in a hippie town where you could probably literally see smoke from. (That is kind of an inside joke for anyone who is wondering.)

Well, there is my first emotional piece. Wish people warned you that growing up isn’t the best thing in the world like us kids think it is.

It sucks.

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Author: theonlinemommyblogs

Aspiring writer. Aspiring actress. Aspiring singer. Inspiring.

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