On to the next few days and I promise we are caught up. Thank you for being patient.
November 5th: I am thankful for God. Though I have a recent relationship with God, and still trying to figure all of that out, I am thankful that I have been shown mercy. The mercy I am talking about is, even though I am still struggling in a lot of ways, I am struggling a lot less, sad a lot less, and quite frankly, I have put the cat claws away and stopped being irrational and backstabby. This is huge for me since I am known to be that way as a defense mechanism with having a child young-ish and moving and being homeless and all that other stuff. It’s nice to see that I have been able to cope differently and pray when I need it. God has given me all this grace and mercy to be able to grow, and that’s a huge thing.
November 6th: I am thankful for my mother in law. Yup, this may be the only time you ever hear this, but I love my mother-in-law. She has helped me when it comes to growing, and how I react to certain things. Not a lot of people can sit there and talk highly of their mother-in-law, or how amazingly they raised their son, but I think mine did awesome. There’s also that I live with her, and when you live with someone, you become used to who they are and what they stand for.
November 7th: Woohoo, finally on the right day. I am thankful for the ability to go to school. Not a whole lot of mothers have this opportunity, and not a lot of people in general do, so the fact I am raising a child and have the ability to attend school with him going to school, and my lowest grade is only an 80, with things not totally being put in, this shows that this is a good thing and that school will be worth it in the long run.
Today starts my thankful posts and I am super excited. Thankful posts are posts usually done in November about what people are thankful for, and why. I would love it if you told me in the comments what you guys are thankful for, too!!
For Day 1, I am thankful for my son. I know, I know, you all knew this was how it was going to start, but I had to. As I was saying, yes, thankful for my son.
My son is the reason why I did so much in my life that was good, even when people couldn’t see it. I left an abusive relationship, twice, found a home for a while, moved across the entire country for safety, found jobs, and finally going to school so that I can have a decent degree. I feel like if I didn’t have Baby Chewy relying on what I do, that I probably would be worse off than I am right now, and I don’t care how that sounds to you, but it’s the truth, and my whole family knows it.
I am so thankful that God put Baby Chewy in my life. He has been so amazing, and has pushed me past so many barriers that I may have not have gotten past otherwise. God has been good, indeed.
This may be one of the hardest things to talk about, mainly because I am still searching, debating, wishing, praying, reading, and my favorite thing, researching. I have had so much in my life without God, that it is super hard to do.
The first thing, I suppose is why I wanted to start trying to find God. My son, possibly the best thing on this planet, is the main reason. Granted, other family probably had a hand in it as well, but the majority is because of my son. He always wants to go to church and pray, he loves his bed time stories that have God and, now, loves the fact that his great grandfather is now with God and Jesus.
To help with my son, I have kind of started my own soul searching, so that it won’t be confusing for my son. Doing this, I have been reading a devotional each day and downloaded an app where you end up spending x-amount of days on certain things you may need help with, whether for marriage or for help with family. It’s been a great help.
Hopefully I can continue finding God in my own way, on my own time. I want to be the most best, God filled mother for my son before he gets too old to care.